Hello everyone! This post is written as a PSA to all women, men, and they; that enter relationships and find themselves in an unfortunate situation. I beg you; maintain your composure, react to unfortunate situations wisely, and avoid acting like an entire ass in public. This story, is not mine specifically; but it is necessary that I mention it, as it aligns with the reality and dilemma that goes along with dating.
My mom, my niece, and I went out shopping (on 125thStreet in Harlem) Saturday, yesterday afternoon. We eventually grew hungry and decided to go and eat at Red Lobster. So, we walked there and got a table after a few minutes of waiting. When we got to the table we could hear a couple arguing in the back booth close by.
The man is speaking aggressively at the woman sitting across from him. They are in a heated argument because she has come to the conclusion that he has been or is cheating on her. Rather than handle this at home they decide to show their entire Asses in the restaurant and the following mayhem ensues.
*The following details are paraphrased, but by the end of this story you will get the gist of the situation.
The argument; which starts with simply raised voices begins to escalate rapidly.
He: “Give me back my fucking phone!”
She: “No! You entertaining bitches with the phone that I pay for…!”
He: “IDGAF, Give me back my shit!”
They go back and forth arguing the details. She pays the monthly bill, and the phone is on her credit. He stated that he paid for the actual phone.
Bang on the table!
There is a waitress cleaning up a table near by, she is watching all of this happens and does, absolutely, nothing. My mother motions for her to call the manager or security but she does neither.
Bang on the table!
Keep in mind that there are couples and families all around watching this all go down and they are in shock. My mother gets up to use that bathroom just as things start to heat up. I move from my seat near the walk way and sit in the booth beside my niece (just an intuition that if things go sideways, being in the aisle is not a great idea). There’s a couple that is sitting at the seat across from them and they get up and move away. By this time the man is out of the seat and aggressively grabbing the woman. He is also, now, screaming at the woman. She is still refusing to give him the phone and this insane scene continues to escalate. The manager (bless his heart) comes over and tries to dissolve the situation but the man turns his aggression on the manager. I guess the manager figured, he doesn’t get paid enough to deal with that shit and walks away. A male busser (being a bit more urban and street) tries to aid in the situation and again the man starts to threaten him as well. Finally the big security guard arrives, however he is displaying that he gives zero fucks to really aggressively stop the situation. The guy may be all of 5’10” and between 160-170 pounds; the security guy 6’5” and possibly 250 pounds; the busser 5’7” and around 140 pounds. The dude decides that threatening the busser is his logical choice. There is an exchange between the guy and busser that I did not hear. By this time almost all the employees are in the area trying to end the ordeal, one server is calling the cops, and all the patrons have moved away from the drama. The woman is still refusing to give up the phone and the guy is still man handling her. He eventually turns his aggression to all the employees and anyone in the restaurant.
He: “I don’t give a fuck! If anybody got a problem with it they can get dragged!”
I’m assuming he said this looking at the busser that tried to aid in the situation and the busser responds.
Busser: “I am the smallest guy in here, you think you tough?”
Then all hell broke loose. Guy takes off and charges after the busser, all the employees are screaming for busser to get out of the way, the altercation runs into the kitchen and the next thing I know is the employees are escorting the guy downstairs and the police are outside. My mother comes back shortly after that. The table where the couple was at is a mess, food is everywhere and there is broken plates and glass around. Finally our waiter comes, we order our food and enjoy the rest of our evening. But that incident reminded me why I tend not to dine on 125thStreet.
I choose to mention this situation for many reasons.
- Both of them were dumb as hell! DDO NOT air you dirty laundry in the streets.
- Nothing pisses me off more than people arguing in the street, or those idiots that you see yelling into their phones at someone. They just look like idiots. Keep your drama your own.
- He was dumb for cheating in the first place and being sloppy about his wrongdoings.
- Men if you’re ever caught doing dirt, don’t act an ass. If you do- don’t act like an ass in public. Causing a scene, and threatening random people all because you couldn’t keep your dick in your pants it stupid.
- She was stupid for paying for his phone in the first place (Be sure to get you a man with his coins up so he can get his own shit!) I could understand her anger but her actions were immature and affected everyone around.
- If you find out he’s being foul- don’t cause a scene. Just kick him out and cut his service off. Let the next chick deal with his broke ass.
- She was again stupid for bringing the situation up at a damn restaurant.
- You can’t say that all this time you thought he was being faithful. We, as women know when shit doesn’t seem right. She’s probably laid down beside his cheating ass many nights wondering where he was and decided that this exact moment was the time to bring the issue up… Just DUMB!
In this new world of many sexual identities, and ways of living; there is no need to cheat and/or be with a cheater. Be honest with yourself- you either want to be monogamous or you don’t. If you don’t want to be monogamous you have many choices:
- An open-relationship
- Occasional 3-sum
(I will discuss these alternative lifestyles in later posts)
Don’t worry about what it will look like if other people find out about it. If a couple is happy living an alternative lifestyle, why should we care? But to claim you’re going to be monogamous and to cheat and/or keep cheating is ridiculous. And women (and in some cases men) you can’t keep playing ignorant. If your man or woman cheats on you more than once you have to really decide for yourself; will you be able to deal with it if he/she does it again, because I assure you that they will.
I watch all these reality TV shows and you see the men cheat and the women take them back, the men cheat again and the women take them back, yet again. Once can be a slip up. Two times or more- then you’re in a one-sided open relationship because he or she is going to continue to fuck around on you because you keep allowing it.
If you love your partner but they have proven that they can’t be monogamous you should discuss alternative lifestyles. It’s not gross or nasty to be in an honest alternative lifestyle. However, it is nasty and irresponsible to blindly trust a partner that has shown to be untrustworthy. To have sex (without protection), and hope that your partner is being faithful; that could be the worst mistake of your life.