I started talking to M_OKC in the early fall of 2016. He was good looking, Dominican, in his early 30s and lived in the Bronx. We connected on fitness and the fact that we liked similar tv shows. He said he worked for Time Warner Cable (before it became Spectrum) and worked part time as a trainer at a gym. I was training for the marathon and he offered me tips on vitamins and recovery stretches. We agreed to meet one afternoon at the Starbucks on 96thand Lexington. I arrived a little late but he wasn’t there yet so I ordered me a cinnamon dolce latte. He sent me a text that he was running late and would arrive soon, so I waited. About 45 minutes later he arrived. He greeted me with a hug, went to the counter and ordered his drink then came back to sit with me.
The conversation was smooth and engaging. We cracked jokes and briefly discussed past relationships and upbringings. He got into fitness for health reasons and was eliminating red meat from his diet. I was just trying to not get any bigger and run faster. We talked about the current shows we were both watching Game of Thrones, Power, The Zoo, Criminal Minds etc. We talked for a few hours until he had to go home. In conclusion; he showed up, was engaging, I wasn’t bored out of my mind and he didn’t mention sex; so overall, I considered the date a success. He walked me back home (which was only 10 blocks) but still a very nice gesture. He stood on the side of traffic which was also a good sign. At my building we hugged and then parted ways. We spoke on the phone regularly until our next date. He suggested we get dinner and ice cream and I said that sounded like a plan.
I was under the assumption that we would meet downtown in Manhattan, find a place to eat, then get ice cream. The day of, he asked me to meet him on a train in the Bronx. I told him I didn’t know of any ice cream places in the Bronx. His response was Carvel. Now, I don’t want to come off as stuck up but I don’t eat Carvel, ever. Maybe if I’m at a party and there is an ice cream cake I’ll eat it but that’s a rare occasion. Silly me, I thought Pinkberry or Haagen-Daaz, but what did I know. I tried not to be a pest and decided to go along with this plan. He told me to meet him at 161ststreet, so naturally I got off of the train assuming that we would meet there then walk to dinner and ice cream. He tells me to get back on the train. (His exact words were: “I didn’t tell you to get off”) Fine- Whatever! I get back on the train we meet up and take it a few stops further into the Bronx. He asks if I’m hungry and suggests we get tacos. Anyone who knows me knows that I love Mexican food so I was all for it. We get off the train and walk to a Mexican restaurant. It wasn’t by any means a hole in the wall but it was not a place for a second date. It was more a restaurant where you go if you’re already a couple, not when you’re trying to establish a foundation. However, since I was familiar establishments of this caliber as I have one similar by me, I was content. I was hungry and I knew the food would be good so I didn’t complain.
On the walk there, I mentioned that I wanted a margarita. Once inside, I told him I wanted chips with guacamole, 2 al pastor (pork) tacos and a margarita, I then went to use the bathroom. When I came out, the lady had just walked away and I asked him about my drink. His response was less than enthusiastic. It was as if he had an attitude that I wanted a drink while I waited. He mentioned he had tequila in his place, at which point I said we’re not going to eat it here. His response; “Nah.” I could already tell where he thought this night was going to go. (Key word: thought) We walked up the hill and stopped at the corner store. He got a gallon of water and air freshener and went to pay with his card. The man at the counter said there was a minimum of $10 at which point he proceeded pick up some random items to make that total, not once asking if I wanted anything. When he goes to pay his card is declined. He pulls out another card, pays, and we leave the store. On the walk to his place he’s complaining that money should be on the card, and that he has to call the bank… blah blah blah.
When we get upstairs he takes me into his room which is pretty clean for a guy but nothing fantastic. He goes into the living-room and brings in the TV. To myself I’m thinking really. You work for TWC why don’t you have a TV they aren’t super expensive. He pulls out an unopened bottle of Patron and says see. You can have a drink here. I tell him I wanted a margarita not a drink and that I don’t drink liquor straight and since he had no juice I would just drink water. We sit on his bed to eat the food. He starts complaining about how small the guacamole is for the price. All the while I’m thinking “Broke ass-hole”. When we’re done eating he plugs in his laptop to go on YouTube. Again, if you work for cable don’t you have a discount? How can someone be that cheap? He puts on a movie and we lay back and start watching. He starts rubbing on my arm and trying to get close; at this point I am not with any of this so I reciprocate nothing. As he’s rubbing my arm he asks me “How does that feel?” to which I respond, “Awkward”. He tried again to rest his arm across by body, a little under my breasts. I lift his hand and remove it from my body and place it on his side. We continue to watch the movie like two statues, I laugh periodically while he is silent. When the movie is over I say I have to go.
As I put my shoes on, he’s sits up but makes no movements to do the same. I tell him I don’t know where I am and that he has to walk me. With resistance he puts on his shoes and we walk downstairs. He walks me about a 2 blocks and leaves me with instructions to keep walking straight. We don’t say good-bye we just go our separate ways. That nice gentleman that walked me home when we first met was long gone.
I don’t like to count a man’s pockets, but why try and talk to a chick if you can’t, in the very least, afford to buy her simple shit; like coffee, a cocktail, etc. The fact that he didn’t offer to buy me a coffee at the Starbucks- I looked at him sideways, but didn’t hold offense- I let it slide. When he said Carvel for ice cream- I tried to get of my bougie hoarse and be open. When he got an attitude about me wanting a margarita- I was taken aback. When he didn’t offer me anything in the store to make the $10-I started to realize. When his card got declined for $10- I chuckled inside. When he pulled the tv from the living room into his room- It started becoming clear to me. When he used his laptop for connection- My mind was made up. When he bitched about the food- I was over it all. But, when he tried to have sex after all the preceding incidents of that evening- That’s when I was all the way DONE.
This wasn’t the first time I met a broke ass-hole, and it wouldn’t be the last.