Tag Archives: womanizer

CHEERS TO THE NEW YEAR (2019 Recap)

Dear 2019, 

I’ll be sad to see you go, but I’ll remember the beautiful times we had. At the stroke of midnight, my family welcomed you with prayers and open arms. We made our traditional “Happy New Year” and “I Love You” calls, drank some champagne, and eventually retired to sleep.  

My first post in 2019, Yay! She’s Back was a story about my vibrator’s love for me. In the summer of 2018, I had made the decision to stop having sex, because I needed to allow my mind and heart to heal from all the heartbreak I had endured in 2018. I needed to re-devote my energy back into myself, and I didn’t want the exchange of negative energy that sex often brings. So, being that the only forms of safe sex are either abstinence and masturbation; writing a story on masturbation seemed quite appropriate. 

Inspired by a member in the support group that I attend; I decided to write and publish my, first ever, post on herpes; The Ex That Never Left. Hitting publish was the hardest thing I did in 2019 and it was the post that would forever shift the tide and purpose of my writing. Being positive for 10 years- ‘it was what it was’ and I operated on a need to know basis. When I started to write my blog, I had no intention to ever discuss herpes. But, I realized that, to be a great writer, meant to be vulnerable and to let people in. I couldn’t continue talking around herpes, I had to call it out and give it a seat on stage; especially if I planned to stand in my truth of sex positivity.  

With herpes out in the open, I was finally able to take bigger steps toward being the writer that I am now. I wrote about my first 3-some experience, in Turn Up while also coming out as bisexual. Because I wanted to experience a woman alone, I went on The Hunt. Unfortunately, I never found a woman or couple that was actually willing to meet up. It became abundantly clear that if I wanted to explore being intimate with women, I would have to step out of my comfort zone and walk into a sex-club.  

In March, after being ‘celibate’ for almost 8 months, I walked into my first sex-club; but it wouldn’t be my last. Being the new honest writer that I was, I wrote all about my experiences in; Corset, Collar, Lingerie 1,2, and 3). In concluding that I was, indeed, bisexual; I also discovered that I deeply enjoyed being an exhibitionist, amongst like-minded individuals.  

It was during this time that I started dating again. However, this time around I was playing by a different set of rules. Over the years of dating, since I was 14; I had experienced my share of heartbreaks. During my time of celibacy, I realized that I had set unrealistic expectations on my partners and they did the same to me. I realized that I dated, like many other people, only for the end game. I missed out on cherishing all the amazing moments because I was only focused on achieving one thing. It was then I realized that, not only was I limiting my capacity and the ability to love; but that I was forcing myself to be someone that I was not. It was then that I decided I would love polyamorously; and in Working The Garden, I dived deeper into my emotions.  

With my mind and emotions finally aligned, I was surprised to see how quickly my sex life got on board. For the first time, in a very long time, I was dating how I wanted, with men whose company I genuinely enjoyed, and the sex was not only good, it was kinky as well. I was finally able to explore sexual acts that I was nervous to explore prior in (Tabooty 1 & 2). 

In June, I discovered an invite-only sex-party; and I slowly became a regular on the scene. I was enjoying my moment of being an ethical herpes-positive individual, and shared it with you in (The Wonders of Coconut Oil 1 & 2). 

By the time August arrived, I had only discussed my herpes status on my blog and with select friends and family. It wasn’t until I wrote into Whoreible_Decisions, and was chosen to be a guest on their podcast, did I finally decide to go fully public. I first told the remainder of my family, I made all of my social media public, and I waited. I was surprise at how many people reached out to me after the episode dropped and I immediately knew that I had made the right decision. Naturally, because I was nervous, I had missed some key pointers, so being that I did have a platform of my own (even though small) I elaborated on some of the things I wish I had said during the podcast, on the blog post Things Unsaid.  

By the end of the summer, I was fully invested in the poly-love style. I had one primary partner that I loved dearly, whom I met at a sex-party; (I Only Wanted Sex: Then you happened) and I was dating three other men. Eventually one of the men realized that dating multiple women wasn’t for him so he ended things; (Tales of a Polyamorous Heart Break), and I, in true fashion, wished him the best.  

I was finally living my life to the fullest; I was building amazing connections, having great sex, and living and loving my truth; (End of My Hot Girl Summer & You Can Have It All)

Surprisingly polyamory was flowing smoothly. The only difficulty I found was having to explain, over and over, to people that weren’t in the lifestyle that Polyamorous Does Not Mean Sex-Addict). Other than that, I encountered no real roadblocks and/or difficulty dating, even while being herpes positive.  

As I write this, I could never have imagined being where I am now.  

After appearing on the Whoreible_Decisions podcast, I’ve been a guest on multiple other podcasts;  Shit! I’m 30 podcast, Something Positive for Positive People, and during my visit to Philly, to see Elton John, I (with my primary partner) were guests on the UnCumfortable w/ Muva Esh Podcast.  

In addition to publicly speaking about herpes on various podcasts; in the early fall I became a member of HANDS (Herpes Activists Networking to Dismantle Stigma). Almost every day I receive a new message from a person that tells me, hearing my story has helped them in some way. Who ever thought speaking publicly about having herpes would help so many people? It was a big step for me to take, but I’m happy that hearing my journey can help others. I offer tips on how to disclose to potential partners How Do I Tell Them. And I use my years of experience and words to combat bullying within the herpes community If Only It Were That Simple. 

In the year 2020 I foresee major changes in my personal life and career. I’m currently working on a book that hopefully will be out in the Spring of 2020. I’m also in the process of writing my memoir; and the future holds more fantastic ventures for me.  

So, I hope that you have enjoyed my 2019 re-cap and I hope you follow me into 2020.  

Happy New Year!! 

TABOOTY – PART 3

By now, at the tender age of 33, anal play had become quite a staple in my world of sex. The first time I had a finger in my ass I was still in high school. My boyfriend and I were making out under the stairs in his house and our bodies were pinned against each other. I was in jeans and he slid his hands inside my pants. As his middle finger began to tease my booty-hole, I got extremely wet. When he finally stuck his finger in my ass I was totally under his control. With every flick of his finger I writhed with pleasure; until his grandmother came downstairs and we ran back to the couch. It would be years before I dabbled into full-on anal sex; but ever since that day, I loved fingers in my ass. 

The first time I tried anal sex, it was an ill attempt to maintain my “virginity”. He tried to stick it in my ass, but the pressure was too much, so Pop! Went my cherry! The first time I actually had anal sex was with my Dominican Bae. We were in his room and I was completely naked on his couch. He took his time to play with and lick at my pussy, to get me ready. When he finally went to enter my ass (being quite endowed); he took his time. He waited for my body to adjust to his length and girth; he waited for me to give him permission to keep going, and finally, only once my body was ready, he slowly thrusted in and out. As he fucked my ass so tenderly, I rubbed at my clit until I reached my orgasm. That was the pleasurable first experience of anal sex I was glad I had. However, the few that followed were not so good. 

I have a love-hate relationship with porn. I love watching porn for the sake of enjoyment. But I hate the fact that society has become so jaded on what sex looks like and/or is, because porn is such a fucking lie. No female squirts across a room. Not every woman wants to be abused and/or man-handled. And for crying out loud, my ass (and the average woman’s ass) is not a vagina. A vagina is a self-lubricating orifice that can stretch to accommodate penetration and child birth. No ass-hole self-lubricates and the average human’s poop is no bigger than 1” diameter (It’s been proven- I think!). The muscles that keep my shit from free-flowing, will always resist an attack; so, if desiring entry, one must take it slow.  

I tried anal sex twice; both in the missionary position, which is supposed to be easier, and it was painful almost the entire time. Only having one experience to go off of and the exaggerated porn, I allowed my partners to find their pleasure, and disregarded my discomfort. It would take years before I would agree to anal sex ever again.  

By now, I was well versed in anal play. I loved and yearned for fingers, tongue and on occasion, the filling sensation of a butt-plug; but I was still hesitant to allow my partners to enter my ass. I had set up a rule for myself.  The next partner to enter my ass had to be able to demonstrate an extreme amount of restraint. Men would enter with patience, but one inside they would go ham; and I was not having my ass abused like that.  

The weekend I finally revisited anal-sex, I just so happened to be on my period. My partner had previously mentioned that he “didn’t run red lights” so, I was prepared for a weekend of cuddles and delivering him oral. Eventually that position was tossed out the window when I got out the shower with my diva cup in and started to give him oral. As I sucked at his dick, he positioned my vagina to rest on his chin and he licked at my clit. It got to the point where he wanted to have sex and he suggested anal. With a very stern voice, I made it abundantly clear that he had to take his time and if he hurt me, I would punch him.  

I bent over on my bed and he positioned himself behind me. He lubed up my ass and slid in his fingers, one then two. After playing for a bit he got a condom and applied lube to his penis and slowly entered me. With my womanizer vibrator on my clit; coupled with the sensation of him entering my ass, it felt amazing. Once he was fully inside of me, I turned up the setting and I gave him permission to “fuck my ass”. As his thrusts grew more powerful the sensation on my clit intensified. What started as moans, grew to screams, and peaked at a howl as I had my orgasm. With my clit numb and the orgasmic bliss radiating all over my body, I fell into the mattress as he continued thrusting until he had his orgasm; then he collapsed on top of me.  

It took a few days for my poops to feel normal again (I wonder if that’s a thing after anal sex? I still haven’t gotten an answer from Reddit). It was quite possibly the best sexual experience I had in years. For the days following, I found myself stopping and reminiscing. I was happy I found a way to enjoy anal sex again, and I was even more happy with my partner. Originally, I had promised my ass to another partner, but since time kept us apart; I’m glad my experience was with someone I now love.  

In the future, anal sex will become the seasonal item on the menu. I have no desire to have anal sex everyday but, I’m delighted to know that it’s there.  

I LOVE MY WOMANIZER

The first vibrator I ever purchased was the ever-infamous Rabbit. It may or may not have been on the heels of the Sex and the City episode; but, nonetheless, once I got home, I needed try it and see what all the fuss was about. Up until that point, all the pleasure I felt was either from resting in the bathtub and letting the water from the faucet pound down on my clit, or me rubbing it out in my room at night.  

In the quiet of my room, I pulled out my battery-operated Rabbit, put a condom on it, and went to town. The sensation of the penis-shaped felt good; but it was the vibrations from the ears on my clit that brought me to ecstasy. It was that feeling alone that I would continue to chase for years. A few times I purchased items to help me engage my G-spot: silicone inserted vibrator, even a glass G-spot stimulator; but every time, I only ever had clitoral orgasms.  Eventually, I stopped buying insertable devices and focused solely on my clit. I went through a series of pocket-sized vibrators: ones with changeable heads, and some with multiple speeds and vibrations. A few years ago, I happened into Babeland and purchased my Raines brand Vibrator. It was pretty, purple, had a multitude of patterns, and was quiet. She even came with a little pouch, with a lock and key. She held me down, then I had to replace her, and she was there for me for another year or two.  

A year or two later, I was determined to have a G-spot orgasm. So, I returned back to Babeland where I bought my ($120) Fifi by Je Joue rechargeable vibrator. When I got home, I charged it up for a bit; after I took my shower, I washed it off, applied some lube and waited for the magic to happen. The sensations were far more advanced from when I used the rabbit and I was able to cum 5 times. But, all of them were only clitoral. The amazing sensations did nothing to bring me to a G-spot orgasms, and because of that I was twistedly disappointed. I had come to the conclusion in my early 20s that I was one of those women that would never have a G-spot orgasm, but I loved sex and oral so much that; I can’t miss what I never had. With that, I stopped caring for artificial objects in my vagina. I love fingers, tongues, and dicks; and that’s enough for me. 

I loved my Fifi, but having to use the vagina insert, removed the fun for me, so I went back to my Raines vibrator. Then, I kept hearing about this thing called a Womanizer; it interested me because it was said that; the sucking mechanism was a totally new experience, not like other vibrators.  

So, I returned back to Babeland and with some skepticism I said, hell with it, and made my purchase. I walked away with my ($99) Womanizer Liberty Clitoral Stimulator. When I got home, I read the instructions, and charged the device. Later that night, I laid back in my bed, applied some lube to my clit and fired her up.  

The sensation was nothing I had ever experienced. I felt as if all the blood in my body was being drawn to my clit. I grabbed at my nipples as my legs trembled and my breathing grew deeper and heavier. With a final deep breath, my abs clenched, and my eyes rolling to the back of my head; I had my first Womanizer induced orgasm. My energy was depleted, but the whole ordeal may have only been 3 minutes. I looked up at my revolving ceiling fan and waited for my body to feel normal. I wanted to feel that sensation again; so, I spread my legs again and enjoyed the ride. Only this time, something felt different. Not only was my clit throbbing even harder this time, all my southern muscles lost control. I felt my orgasm building up and finally the release, followed by a steady stream of orgasmic fluids. It wasn’t a squirt; it was a juicy ooze. My sheets were soaked, and I gave zero fucks. I was in post-orgasmic bliss.  

I looked up at my ceiling fan, I felt the cool air mix with the sweat that had formed on my body, deliver a chill. I felt the moisture on the sheets, below my ass start to get cold. I reached my hands down to my opening and felt the cum on my fingers. I always loved the taste of my juices on my partners lips, after they ate my pussy, and I wanted to taste it again. It was deliciously sweet. I delivered myself one more orgasm before the night was through. When I was finished, I got my hair dryer, dried my wet spot, and retreated into a lovey slumber.  

I realized, after the fact, that it was the first time, in a very-very long time that I didn’t use porn to stimulate my mind. Ever since that night all Womanizer orgasms have been mental and breath only. Now, there are times when I forget to charge my Womanizer, and when I lay down, she’s dead. I would use porn and go back to one of my many other toys. But the Womanizer is in a lane all her own. I use her at night, in the morning, for an afternoon pick-me-up after work, and in the shower; it’s quite possibly the best toy I’ve had ever. It’s a fantastic toy to have in your arsenal. However, I have heard some women say it was too intense, but I absolutely, obviously love it. 

In my next post I’ll revisit the Tabooty series, and the role my Womanizer played in making the experience magical.